Strength in Numbers Page 2

  For a moment, Jay looked distressed but instead cleared her throat. "I'm concerned about her ability to blend into our existing setup. She's not used to such an integrated group sharing the workload." She shook her head. "If you feel that strongly, I'l give it a shot. I'm just not sure it wil work out."

  Sharon smiled. "Jay, I'm not worried. I know you can train and work with anyone. Consider it another management-building session. Working with people we know can be a chal enge, but it may be easier since you haven't maintained a friendship over the years. You won't have the issues of trying to manage a friend."

  Jay nodded and agreed to give it a try. Sharon said she'd file the paperwork with HR and have them contact Bailey with the offer letter.

  * * *

  Bailey left the building, got into the car, and sat with her head resting on the steering wheel for a moment, her heart stil pounding. It had suddenly hit her that her mother had known Jay worked here. Why hadn't she at least warned her? She swore quietly and final y started the car, heading home to her parents'. She calmed down a bit as she drove, realizing that her mother only knew they hadn't been friends in years and probably assumed the two girls had just lost touch as they built their careers. In fact, neither of her parents had any idea of the real truth behind the split between her and Jay.

  With a sigh, Bailey turned into the driveway and parked her blue Toyota Rav-4. She went into the house looking for her mother.

  "Mom, where are you?"

  "In here, honey. How'd the interview go?" Her mother was in the solarium tending to her plants, her favorite pastime. Bailey perched on a stool watching her mother work with the soil.

  How did the interview go? Bailey thought about Jay's frozen expression and the stiff set of her shoulders as she had walked into Sharon's office. She had taken a seat in front of the desk, but Jay had sat on the desk, not beside her. Her heart had been jumping against her ribs as she tried to appear calm and poised. She had been positive Sharon had liked her, but Jay had only looked at her professional y and without a trace of the old warmth. Could they work together? Could she ever repair their friendship?

  "Why didn't you tel me that Jay works there?"

  "Oh, honey, I didn't even think about it. Did you run into her?"

  Bailey gave a little short laugh. "Not only did I see her but, if I get this job, I think I'l be working under her." As soon as the words left her mouth, she felt her face warm, immediately thinking of the last time they'd seen each other.

  Bailey stirred, slowly awakening and realizing the position they were in. She couldn't remember ever feeling so safe or so aroused in her life. She lifted her head and looked at Jay's half-lidded eyes as she reached to caress the soft skin. She'd had a crush on her for so long, and now she couldn't hold back. Ever since Jay had come out to her at school, Bailey had wanted this but didn't know how to deal with her feelings.

  Now it didn't matter. She wanted her, and Jay was responding.

  The next morning the panic had set in, and she had taken off before Jay awoke. She was terrified of the consequences of the night before.

  She knew her parents would never understand and feared they might cause trouble for Jay. Al she could think of was the high expectations her conservative, church-going family had for her. She was not going to let them down. Instead she ran. Ran from Jay, her family and from herself, al the way to Florida.

  Her mother had her back to her but glanced over her shoulder. "That's great, dear. You'l have a chance to renew your friendship! You two were thick as thieves until the first summer after col ege. Whatever happened to make you lose touch?"

  Bailey just shook her head. "I don't know, Mom. I transferred to Florida for school, and we just drifted apart." Even though her parents had final y accepted her sexual identity, she had no intention of sharing the night of her first experience with them.

  "Wel , you're home now. Perhaps you two can pick things up again. It'd be nice to have a friend to do things with here."

  "Uh, sure Mom." Bailey stood and moved to the door. "I'm tired so I think I'l rest for a while. I didn't sleep wel last night. Nerves, I guess."

  "Oh, I made plans for dinner tonight. Can you be ready by six?"

  "Okay," Bailey said, heading to her room as the phone rang. She heard her mother answer and laugh. She had to figure out a way to have her life make sense again. The problem was that she didn't know if it was possible anymore. She may have simply waited too long.

  CHAPTER 2

  "DAD, PUT ME DOWN – you're crushing me!" Jay teased her father with a smile.

  At six-seven, Jay's father was a big man by anyone's standards. He had a significant amount of grey in his once black hair and was built like the construction worker he'd been before he started his own contracting company.

  "My daughter, the banker," he teased back. "So busy that we don't see you nearly enough." His big brown eyes twinkled at her. She got her five-foot-nine inches from him, but her lithe build and hair color came from her mother. Steven Conway took a second look at his daughter, taking in the shadows under her brown eyes, the slight dishevelment of her honey blond hair as it fought to escape from the French braid she'd worn to work.

  He worried about the long hours Jay put in, but he was proud of her and al that she had accomplished in the financial world. At thirty-five, she was one of the youngest senior lenders in a successful regional banking firm in Philadelphia, but her long hours were relentless and she looked tired.

  He gave her another quick one-armed hug. "Can you be social for a little while, or are you as worn out as you look? Your mom invited the neighbors over at the last minute."

  "I'm good, Dad. It was just a long week. I'l be fine once I get some of Mom's great cooking in me."

  "Who's coming over?" she asked.

  "Wel , it is a bit of a surprise," he said, stopping. "The McIntyres and..."

  Jay turned quickly. "Not Bailey?"

  He nodded. "I knew you'd be surprised."

  "I just saw her at work. She's applying for a lending position."

  His face mirrored the shock she felt. "And wil she be offered the post?"

  "Looks that way. Sharon is having HR run the screens and assuming she passes an offer wil be made."

  He exhaled and gave her a supportive smile. "Okay, kiddo, we can do this. Let's go break bread with the neighbors and their wayward daughter. You are spending the night, right?"

  Jay nodded. "Brunch tomorrow and a round of golf before I head back into the city?"

  "Sounds like a plan! Let's go join everyone." Her father took her bag and opened the back door, letting her enter first.

  Jay's mom, Laura, gave her a hug and kiss on the cheek as Bailey's parents rose to greet her. Just then Bailey stepped into the room, carrying a drink in one hand and a bowl of mixed nuts in the other. She smiled at Jay shyly and said a soft hel o.

  Jay smiled stiffly and turned to her mother. "I'm going to run upstairs and change. How much time do I have?"

  "We have about twenty minutes before dinner is ready. You made better time than I thought you would."

  "Guess I got lucky. Al the traffic was coming into the city by the time I left work. See, Mom, working late has its perks!" It was a never-ending debate between her and her mother.

  * * *

  The dinner went wel with a tinge of déjà vu for everyone. Jay's parents carried on a lively conversation with Bailey's folks, reminiscing about the escapades of their daughters through the years. Eventual y, they asked Bailey about her time away from Philadelphia.

  She spoke fondly of her life in Florida. "I couldn't believe I was recruited before I finished my internship! Within a year of leaving school, I was able to put together a down payment on an adorable condominium near the beach. Plus, working for a regional bank instead of one of the national chains, was the right move. Smal er companies seem to focus more on the consumers than strictly upon the numbers."

  "The strength of the numbers matters too though. Loans can't be decided jus
t on feel good vibes," Jay interjected.

  Bailey didn't take the bait and the conversation turned to recreation as Bailey regaled the gathering with tales of her attempts to try new sports during her first year out of col ege.

  "The first time I tried to get up on water skis I almost drowned myself! I just didn't understand the physics involved in getting upright until it happened by mistake. Once I managed it, I was able to repeat it. I decided to stick with snorkeling. Keeping up with coral was more my pace." She chuckled at the memory and the others joined her.

  "You haven't mentioned one relationship. Did you leave anyone special behind?" Laura asked.

  Bailey shook her head with a wry grin. "No, my last relationship ended a little over a year ago. I think I always knew I would come home, and I never dated anyone I could get serious about." She peeked at Jay. How can I ever explain why things were so messed up between us? To her surprise, Jay was looking at her as wel , and she blushed a little. Jay looked confused as if she was working on a puzzle and the answer was just out of her reach.

  * * *

  Later, after their guests had left, Jay quietly helped her mom clear the last of the dishes and load the dishwasher.

  Her mother leaned against the counter and spoke softly. "Jay, are you ever going to tel me what happened between you two?"

  "I don't know what you mean, Mom."

  "Yes, you do. That summer break after your freshman year you two suddenly stopped hanging out and Bailey transferred to Florida. She had never mentioned an out of area school before then." Jay started the dishwasher while thinking about that first year at school.

  After winter break was over things seemed to change. One evening as Jay watched Bailey get ready for a frat party, she realized that she was jealous of the guys who would get to dance with Bailey. She was too good for them. With a sudden breath, Jay looked at Bailey again.

  She was in love with her best friend.

  She didn't say or do anything that night. She was too afraid of what she was feeling. She might scare Bailey away forever. Just before spring break, Jay final y decided to approach Bailey with her feelings. Bailey was lying in her bed, and Jay could hear her familiar sounds as she got ready for sleep.

  "Hey, Bail?"

  "Yeah, Jay, what's up?" Bailey asked in a sleepy voice.

  "Um, have you ever, I mean what would you think..." Jay couldn't seem to find the words or the courage to put voice to her thoughts.

  Bailey sat up in bed, suddenly concerned about her best friend. "Spil it, Jay, you've been acting weird most of this term. What's been eating at you? You know you can tel me anything."

  Jay took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and screwed up her courage for another attempt. "Have you ever thought about kissing a girl?" It wasn't exactly what she was planning on saying, but it did open the door at least. Bailey was quiet for a moment and Jay waited nervously.

  Final y, Bailey replied. "I can't say I've never thought about it, but it isn't real y something I've thought seriously about either. Why are you asking, Jay?"

  "Um, never mind," Jay mumbled, feeling her heart start to ache. Jay heard the bedclothes move on Bailey's bed and felt her sit down next to her. Bailey put a light hand on Jay's back and started to massage her gently.

  "Jay, sweetie, talk to me. You're the best friend I could ever have, and I hate seeing you in pain."

  Jay gave a gasp as she felt Bailey's hand on her back and squeezed her eyes shut, trying to keep the tears from escaping. "Bailey, I think I prefer girls," Jay said in a rush, afraid that if she didn't say it fast she wouldn't say it at al .

  Bailey's hand stopped briefly then continued rubbing gently. "Is that what's been bugging you? Did you think I would think less of you for being a lesbian?" Bailey asked. "Jay, you've been my best friend for so long, how could I stop loving you because of who you prefer to date? If I didn't realize how much you must have struggled with this, I would be mad at you for keeping secrets."

  Jay gave a smal smile as part of her worry faded. "I admit I've been afraid of how you would react. I didn't want it to change things between us. I was afraid you would feel awkward around me in our room." Jay knew she had something else to admit but was now unwil ing to go further.

  Bailey leaned over and gave her a big hug. "You've always been here for me. It's about time I get to be here for you too!"

  Jay was relieved that things were fine between them, better in fact, now that Jay had been at least partial y honest with Bailey. Better, that is, until the summer break and everything went out of control.

  Just as Jay's mother poured two fresh cups of tea, Jay's father came into the room.

  "Hey, how long does it take to load one dishwasher?" he teased.

  Laura smiled at Steve and offered to make him a cup of tea as wel . "Sorry, I was just asking Jay what happened between her and Bailey that ended their friendship. It was pretty evident tonight that whatever it is, the two of them haven't worked it out after al these years."

  Steve accepted the tea from his wife. Jay's face reflected the defeat she felt. "Do you want to tel her or shal I?" he asked noting the look on his daughter's face. Laura looked at them both in astonishment.

  "You mean you've known al these years and never told me about it?" She glared at her husband until he came over and put a hand on her shoulder.

  "Honey, Jay came home one night that summer a little drunk, and she was pretty talkative. You were out of town and by the time you came home, Jay had asked me to keep this a secret."

  Jay sighed as she listened to her parents. It's time. I need to get this talk over with, especially if Bailey and I are going to work together.

  "Mom, Dad, let's go into the living room and talk. Mom, I'm sorry I asked Dad to keep a secret from you, but you and I weren't getting along so wel back then."

  After choosing seats in the comfortable room, Jay squirmed in her seat. "I'm not sure where to start," Jay said.

  Her mother gave her hand a squeeze. "Start with freshman year of col ege which is when you and I started having trouble."

  Jay nodded. "Okay, we left for school, and we were roommates as you know. We had always been so close. It was Bailey and me against the world. I could hardly remember a time when we weren't friends. As the year progressed, we got even closer since we lived together and spent most of our free time together." Her mother was looking at her intently, and her father gave a nod of encouragement.

  "I think I stopped confiding in you Mom because I was afraid you wouldn't handle my feelings when I didn't even understand them myself. One night I watched Bailey get ready for yet another frat party and realized I was jealous of the guys who would get to dance with her. I suddenly understood that I had fal en in love with Bailey." She choked up and her mother gave her a hug.

  "Oh honey, I'm sorry this hurts you. Are you sure you want to finish tel ing me tonight?"

  "Yes, I should have told you long ago. I'm sorry, Mom. I didn't mean to shut you out. This is stil painful and embarrassing for me."

  "You have no reason to be ashamed of anything. You were realizing your attraction to women, and you were frightened of my reaction. I can understand that entirely."

  She took a few sips of her tea and then made eye contact with her mother. With a deep breath, she continued her story.

  "Wel , I didn't say anything to Bailey about my feelings that night. I was afraid that I would scare her away forever. Then summer break happened."

  Jay remembered as if it were just yesterday, walking in to the party that led to the best and worst moments of her life.

  They had gone to a party at a friend's house after promising her parents that they would be careful. Bailey was more of a party girl, and Jay always tried to watch out for her. Bailey started to drink and work her way through the throng of people with Jay fol owing along trying to look as if she were having fun. Eventual y, Bailey was drunk, and Jay was getting sick of the party and its noise. She motioned to Bailey that she was going outside for a few minutes
of air. Bailey waved her off and returned to her conversation with a group of guys. After about fifteen minutes, Jay was bored and wandered back inside to look for Bailey. She was hoping to convince her to leave the crowded house and head somewhere more peaceful. Once inside, she couldn't find Bailey anywhere. As panic set in, she headed upstairs and started looking in bedrooms until she found a closed door. When she heard more than one male voice inside, she slammed the door open and stormed in. Her best friend was passed out on the bed with three guys around her. Jay saw red.